Donald Trump Is All The Nuts Bernie Tapioca Needs. Hey, America, it’s that time again. That special, oh how we’ve missed you  – come here and let’s have a turn in the sack-  period. Bells are ringing, the eggnog is flowing and grandpa is passed out on our little brother’s 22-year-old girlfriend/dominatrix farting up a storm. That wonderful season where it should be a governmental priority, and a necessity, for the National Guard to nail up “Just Chill It” posters on every corner and hand out Xanax like Pez. That incredible period in the national coffers where every yokel thanks the Lord for corn subsidies and champagne is uncorked, not out of celebration, but simply because mother swilled down all the […]

Trip To Venezuela. Political Hijinks By Way Of Dr. Seuss. “A thousand Bolivars on it being pinned on the yanks,” a riveting phrase if ever there was one. The setting, a cross between a gothic Byronesque romance and a cheap Ron Jeremy porn production. The aromatic reek of lavender, desperation. and alcohol, so profoundly warm, that even cat piss seemed glacial refreshing by comparison. In other words, yet another of the many dilapidated locations pockmarked across the Venezuelan capital, Caracas. A mundane fixture on a sprawling panorama of calamitous gloom. “At least, the water’s working.” The faucet making a squeak akin to modems from the 90’s. “So, you game?” “Not taking that action. That’s like saying the sun comes up […]